Parenting is the most important job in the world, yet it is a job which receives very little, if any, training.  We either do what our parents did, or,  don't do what our parents did. We get little or no preparation.

Our Peaceful Parenting course, initiated by Dr Nancy Buck, takes a fresh approach to effective parenting.

This course helps people understand the source of behaviour in order to help us prevent problems, rather than solve them later.

All parents want their children to lead happy and successful lives. Then want them to keep safe and make responsible decisions.

This course teaches that we are responsible for our own behaviour, and though we have the tendency to lump blame onto someone else, we do have the choice to make more effective decisions for more effective behaviour to find peace and harmony in our lives.

This is not just a course for parents of children who are perceived to have behavioural problems, the so-called "bad" kids. The "good" kids or the "quiet" kids have huge needs too. It is these very children who also need to be understood and what we do as parents is vital.

"I have learnt to be consistent with decisions, not to stress at the little things, give the kids a choice where applicable".

"Happy, because life is more peaceful, no more mountains out of molehills".

"Definitely calmer, think about things more and don't over react".

"More Easy Going, stopping and listening to what the child really wants but may not be saying".

"I found the course not only beneficial as a parent, but also in my work with teenagers, I've been able to diffuse situations at work more efficiently when trying to identify what they want. Most successful for me".

This course supplements the school philosophy based on Choice Theory. All staff have been trained, the ideas and principles have been taught in the majority of classes.

To have taken many parents through the process is an added bonus.

Statistical data supports our beliefs that once relationships improve and people really connect, benefits flow on to the whole school community.

Inform (NSW Department of Education and Training) - Parental bliss - 2003-11-03 - pp22

A course in parenting has reaped benefits, says Sven Wright.

Fifty mums and dads who participated in a parenting course at Kahibah Public School have reported big improvements in the family atmosphere and teachers have noticed changes for the better in the classroom.

Principal, Pam Richardson, says the Peaceful Parenting program has truly lived up to its name.

"The course involved eight two-hour evening sessions. It aims to give parents a better knowledge and understanding of the source of behaviour, their own and others; it teaches people how to handle diverse situations in their lives and it teaches parents how to make choices in their own behaviour to keep them connected to their own children," says Pam.

"Using a clear, comprehensive process to help parents develop and maintain their relationship with their children, they can overcome a natural urge to control everything their children do. A loving and supportive relationship involves helping children make decisions about their personal safety and security and how they can meet their needs in a responsible way.

"In a nutshell it's about preventing problems rather than trying to solve them."

The course is the third phase of a complete student welfare package, which began with professional development for teachers and continued with students creating and operating a playground peer support program last year.

The Student and Staff Helpers (SASH) program was initiated by the students and gives instant peer support to any student who feels alone or bulled. It involved 20 Year 6 volunteers training at the start of the term peer media and conflict resolution.

Pam believes strongly that its success is largely due to the students' ownership of the process, which has had great benefits to students in terms of taking responsibility, personal relationships and leadership opportunities.

The Peaceful Parenting Program is an excellent complement.

"Our parents have reported much greater harmony in the home, and the effect is just as marked at school, where the program fits perfectly with our welfare program which encourages students to take responsibility for everything they do, from class work to extra-curricula activities and how they get on with their peers ' says Pam.

Kim Scott and Jo-Anne Best are two participating parents who were very quick to vouch for this.

"You learn to stop and think more in your parenting," says Jo-Anne. "You learn patience. I'm calmer with my daughter and she's getting there - although she has her moments."

Kim says things have taken on a different perspective.

"It makes you realise some things aren't so important that you need to stress over them and get worked up," she says.

The course has really helped. The other parents have been going through similar things but we're getting over them gradually.

"It helps you realise that what you've been doing is wrong and that you've been causing some of the unwanted behaviour. Stop that and there can be quick change in the child."

Pam says the course is helping parents think out the best ways to do things in their own family.

As parents, we have little or no preparation for the most important job in the world. We either do or don't do what our parents did.

This course teaches that we are responsible for ourselves, for what we do, for all of our behaviour, and though we always have the tendency to lump blame onto someone else, we do have the choice to make more effective decisions for more effective behaviour to find peace and harmony in our lives and the lives of our families.

Parents from the school and surrounding preschools attended the program and the school has a waiting list for a second edition of the course.

The school has monitored its instances of unacceptable behaviour since 1997. In 2000 there were 212 cases of violence, bullying, disobedience, swearing, disruptive learning, vandalism, stealing, disrespect, going out of bounds or other matters.

The program has had a quantitive effect, with 152 cases in 2001, 73 in 2002 and just 38 for the first three terms of 2003. But it is the qualitative effect in the school, in homes and in the community where the difference has been most obvious.

After being interviewed by local ABC radio, Pam was asked to speak on a Statewide ABC radio program and started getting calls from schools as far afield as Merriwa and Tamworth.

It seems the effect will reach far further than Kahibah.

The Boys in Schools Bulletin - University of Newcastle - Volume 7 Number 1 2004 - March 2004 - pp9
ISBN 1444-8432

Peaceful parenting / peaceful school
By Pam Richardson (Principal Kahibah Public School)